I celebrated my one year soberversary this weekend. Sober anniversary. Sober birthday. Whatever you want to call it… My kids had a really fun time celebrating this milestone and they were proud of their mom - giving me hugs as soon as they woke up that morning. We all celebrated with Cookie Monstah ice cream sandwiches for dessert Saturday night. I love that my kids recognize that it’s something to proud of and that it’s just as important as a birthday or holiday, and persona

A year ago today, I woke up early in the morning around 5AM and laid awake in my bed with an awful hangover. Grey light filtered into the room, casting a gloomy glow across the floor. I fought off nausea as my head throbbed, and I tossed and turned, cycling through the familiar shame and self-loathing I often felt by the end of my drinking days. We didn't do much the night before. We had been home with the kids, but I drank a lot. We ordered pizza, but I didn't eat much. Phys

​​One year ago today, I had my last drink. On that day, I was a stranger to myself. Up until that moment, I felt a darkness in my life that pervaded every ounce of my being. Most days, I lived inside a feeling of perpetual gloom, allowing alcohol to dictate my worth. On the outside, I appeared self-assured and at ease with myself, but on the inside I was falling apart. I felt as if I existed nearly everyday at the bottom of a deep, shadowy hole in the earth, staring up at the

I am grateful for all that I have learned in my first year of sobriety. Over these last twelve months, I have traveled quite a bit emotionally. Looking back, I am amazed at the journey I have taken, and I am proud of how far I have come. I can't wait to see where else this road will take me in the years to come. I am so grateful for this year of growth, because I have learned a lot - about myself, what I want from this life, what I am capable of and what I am worthy of being.

It was my birthday yesterday. I allowed myself a little pampering this week, and I took a few days away with some friends to celebrate. I used this time to recharge, slow down, celebrate turning 39 as well as think about my upcoming sober-versary. It was an incredible couple of days. I spent the beginning of the week really focusing on self care and taking some time to slow down. I got a massage and had a facial, all things I never enjoyed before on trips away because I was a

First off - Chase is doing great! He is home, post surgery and a total champ. A complete rockstar patient. I mentioned in our first episode of the podcast this week, that I didn't have a rock bottom. By this I meant, I didn't have a moment where I was suddenly woken up by my awful behavior by the cops or an accident. Although, maybe I should have been after all the stupid things I did and conversations I had with my husband. Regardless, I hung out in the gray area for a long

It has been a week, and it is only Wednesday morning. My friend, Catherine and I started a podcast. An idea that came together while on one of our regular walks when we realized we have so much to say to the world! We released the first episode on Monday morning, and I am feeling so excited and proud to share this part of my journey. We took a risk, put it out there and know how vulnerable it is. It is terrifying. Thrilling! Yet at the same time, it feels so good because I fe

About five years ago, I began to notice that my stomach was not acting normal. This was about the time that I had started incorporating alcohol into my life more regularly and drinking more than just on the weekends. I always had a "nervous" stomach or what my parents, sisters and I liked to call a "sensitive" stomach growing up, but I started to notice that I was feeling worse everyday and I didn't even think to blame alcohol. It never even occurred to me that this was the c