Getting COVID is rather reminiscent of a hangover. Not being able to get out of bed because my head is throbbing and feeling like I have no desire to do anything but lay around. I hate it. It is an awful feeling and I have come to realize that I am the worst patient. It just occurred to me this morning that this is the first time I have been sick since I got sober. I have been the healthiest I have ever been this past year and a half of my life than I ever was when I was drin

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” -Malachy McCourt Holding onto a grudge is detrimental to one's overall health, since it forces you to ruminate in feelings of anger and frustration. Rather than moving forward in your life, you remain stagnant. You are the one that suffers. Being unable to cope with certain feelings leaves you stuck in the past and trapped in unpleasant interactions that cause distress over and over again. It is unhea

I am not a big fan of holidays in general. I realized yesterday that I have had a dull headache all week, and that is likely because I have been carrying a bit of stress in my shoulders. I think it is because it is Easter weekend. I feel a lot of pressure to make the holiday special for the kids and at the same time it reminds me of how I used to drink to cope with this stress. And Easter still brings a tiny bit of shame for me. Easter has always been a holiday filled with dr

I am 500 days sober today. I happened to open the app that counts my days and it was on 500. I stopped keeping track a while ago, because I don't feel the need to count every second. Every minute. Every day, week or month anymore. I am not white knuckling my way through my days, just trying to survive without alcohol. That isn't me anymore. I am finally living my life. I am at peace. I am happy. (We also reached 5k listens on our podcast this week!) I never thought I would ge

I have been sitting outside this week in the afternoons on our new Adirondack chairs down by the river before the kids come home from school. It has been beautiful spring weather. Both today and yesterday, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and it couldn't have been more lovely. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the sunshine on my face. I listened to the neighborhood owl hooting in the distance and the woodpecker in the tree above me. It felt relaxing and sere

My daughter started wearing my perfume this week. She not only sneaks into my closet and tries on my shoes and all of my jewelry, but now she is starting to smell like me too. I love it. She emulates everything I do, right down to the way I talk and walk. She wants to be just like her mama in every way. She is always watching my every move. The way I interact with other moms, the way I speak to her father and brothers, and the way I carry myself - she is always watching me. O

I sometimes need to remind myself, that others might benefit from hearing my story. There is no courage, growth or intimacy without vulnerability. There is no progress without vulnerability. That is where true authenticity is born. That is real freedom. I have taken huge steps towards being more brave in my day to day life. I have tried to work towards being a better person. I have focused on the relationships that matter to me. I am doing all of this because I am allowing my