Halloween is another holiday that usually gave me license to drink without restraint. This was often a night where everyone around me was walking around out in the open drinking too, so I didn't feel out of place. It was encouraged to get drunk, or so I thought. Everywhere I looked, my friends were drinking. Pictures on instagram promoted it, it seemed. Jello-shots for the parents, candy for the kids. In our old neighborhood, everyone had Yetis filled with drinks. Last year,

Anxiety has been a struggle for me since I was a kid. I never even knew I suffered from it and that is what I was dealing with, until I stopped drinking. I just assumed everyone got nervous walking into a room full of people. Didn't everyone's voice shake when they had to talk in front of a group of strangers? Not everyone got an upset stomach before a long car ride or flight? I just self-medicated for so long with alcohol that my body relied on it to ease my mind before thes

Evan and I went to Boston for dinner last night. It is something we never liked to do in the past when I was drinking, and I was trying to figure out why. I think one of the main reasons we stopped going into the city over the years is because it was easier to get drunk in the burbs. It was easier to stay local with friends, because no one ever wanted to be the designated driver. When we all went out together, Evan included, we knew we wouldn't be able to drive home, so we of

This time of year is proving to be sort of tough. It is bringing me back to fall last year, when I was beginning to slowly spiral. Things were starting to get a bit out of control for me, and I was questioning my behavior on a regular basis. I was doing things I knew I shouldn't be. I was drinking earlier and earlier in the day, more than I ever had before. I was consuming a lot of alcohol everyday, unable to experience the buzz or drunken feeling I craved. I couldn't get the

My oldest son got in a fight at recess this week. Awesome. Right? It's all a very long, convoluted story - so bare with me while I attempt to explain. Keep in mind these are 5th graders. It started on Tuesday when a girl, who he is sort of friends with, not really - but she is friends with all of his guy friends, dared him to slap another kid in the butt. This girl is often getting into trouble and causing drama, and this isn't the first time she has caused problems for him.

It was my husband's birthday yesterday, and normally this would have been a license for me to get wasted. In the past, I would have used this as an open invitation to get after it, since he would be looking to have more than one drink too, or we would have plans with friends to go out. I even had the realization this week that his birthday is on a Friday - and I actually caught myself thinking, "oh too bad it wasn't on a Friday last year when I was still drinking!" And then I

Sundays used to overwhelm me. I used to feel this impending doom as my weekend was coming to an end, as it mostly meant that I needed to attempt to stop drinking for a few days. In recent years, Sunday implied the start of a new week, and in my mind that indicated the need to reset my body. I would need to try to prove to myself (and to my husband) that alcohol wasn't a problem for me, and I needed to try with all my energy not to drink for a few days. Sometimes I would tell