We don't need to seek approval from others
I am feeling excited for a few different reasons. First and foremost, the kids are back in school. I hate to say it like that, but it's true. In this house, we thrive off of routine and there is just no way around it. We need consistency. My kids behave best when they are on a schedule, and mama is happiest when she has some alone time. Then, we can all come together and be the best versions of ourselves.
Today, I have been alone most of the day. And I'm thriving. I have been working nonstop and it's been lovely to enjoy the quiet and solitude. I have had hours of uninterrupted time to work, zoom and take calls without the little people in my world fighting in the background or asking for a snack or saying "I'm bored." I could not be more content.
My book is now in the design phase of the production process, and it is so fun. Seeing the PDF of it in book form made me giddy last week. I cannot wait to get it out into the world.
I just finalized the cover with my editor, and now we are waiting for my first official copy to arrive in the mail from the printer. I can't wait to get my hands on it and see it in physical form. I keep running to the mailbox every few hours to see if it's here. I never bother to grab the mail normally, and I usually let the envelops build up for days. But this week, I have been diligent about checking everyday.
I have put so much effort into this book. So much energy. There have been so many drafts. So many versions. So much damn time. I can't wait for it all to come together. I used to say back when I was in college that I would one day write a book about my life. I never believed that it would actually happen. And that it would be a book about sobriety.
But it's all coming together. The other day Parker said to me, "Wait, mom, you're writing a real book, like my Junie B Jones books? It is going to have a cover and pages and everything?" It made me smile. Yes! I told her. "Wow, you're a real writer!" she said.
I'm not sure why it took my eight year old daughter saying that for me to truly believe that I am a writer.
I don't need validation from anyone. I don't need to prove to the world what I am, because I know the truth about myself. Writing brings me more joy than anything else I have ever done. I have learned that I don't have to seek approval from others anymore. Instead, I hope others can see that I am just being me.