Talking to my therapist today, I told her that it has been hard struggling with the repercussions of my decision to stop drinking. As happy as I am sober, I have become raw and exposed. So much stuff was buried. So many years of ignoring problems I never wanted to confront. There have been issues from my past that I have needed to work through and accept that I didn't know were there. It has been tough forcing myself to shine a light on this. I never felt the need to stand up for myself in the way I am now, because I never realized I needed to do so. I was never willing to face the problems from my past, because I didn't think I had to. All of this was hidden beneath bottles and bottles of booze.
Drinking was a roadblock for me, and my therapist said that I have always been strong enough to deal with my past. This strength is not new. Drinking got in the way of being able to fully see my strength and manage these emotions, but I am past it now. My journey continues past it. I am more in tune with what I need for myself now and what I deserve as well.
I also worked on some mindfulness strategies to pull me away from the trauma's from my past. When the memories flood over me I will work on grounding myself in the present moment and not being pulled into the past. That is my focus for now, to be present in my daily life. That, after all, was one of my main reasons for quitting alcohol in the first place. To be more present and appreciate my current life.