Shame... December 10, 2020
Updated: Sep 2, 2021
I mentioned briefly to my two sober companions here in Needham about my need to do something in our community. They both had their guard up immediately, and I could feel their nervousness about putting themselves out there. They each expressed their concerns with allowing their stories to get out there, what it would look like to others - teachers, schools, former colleagues, etc.
I feel this so much. I get this. I have been grappling with this immensely. And this is exactly what I want to get past! The shame. The embarrassment. The need to hide this SECRET. I don't want women in Needham to be alone and feel like they don't have anyone to reach out to when experiencing that idea of fear and being out of control. "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober," talks about how alcohol is a highly addictive drug. It isn't your fault. This isn't something to be ashamed of, but rather you have been taken advantage of by this chemical. You are sick. I think, instead, it is something for us to be proud of, that we are able to recognize it and do something about it. Ever since a young age, we are pushed on us that alcohol makes life easier and better. From the news, commercials, tv shows, and magazines. In all the 80's and 90's movies - the main characters, the "less cool" girls finally got "cool" once they drank alcohol. Dirty Dancing, Clueless, Save the Last Dance, 10 things I Hate About You - these were a few movies the author mentioned. This has been ingrained in our young, female minds since we were teenagers. We should not be ashamed.
I spoke to another sober curious friend just now on the phone, and I feel traction. I feel the earth moving beneath us and something growing around us. We need to support one another, especially during this holiday season.