Today someone reached out to me on Instagram, through my new secret sober mom's account. This is my new account that has been acting as another outlet, similar to blogging, but like a journal and a way for me to really connect with the sober community. I am able to look at other sober influencers and post my own thoughts and feelings, without anyone I really know seeing me in this new found role as "sober mom." I can really explore what it feels like without people know it is me.
Other people comment on my posts and build me up and make me feel good. Random strangers cheer me on. It's cool. It's my own little, sober world that I am exploring, hiding behind the mask called Instagram. (There is that mask again.) I guess I am not quite ready or confident enough to talk during TLC meetings yet, so this is a way for me to dip my toe in the water. Develop that traction and begin to find the words to speak a little and put myself out there.
And then something amazing happened today...
Like my silly, sleuth-like friend who discovered me on Instagram a few days ago, another friend from my past found me as well... And she started quietly liking some of my posts. One after another. I was nervous that she had discovered my secret identity at first, but I convinced myself that she probably didn't realize it was me. Maybe she stumbled upon it randomly.
But then today, she sent me a DM...
She told she was inspired by me. My strength. My courage. And she asked me how I found the strength to quit drinking, because she too has been struggling for a long time. She too has been trying to find the courage to do the same. And she hasn't told anyone. And I was the first person she told. And she wants my help. She is afraid.
I was just blown away. Floored by the turn of events. Touched by her words. Humbled that she chose me to confide in. Amazed by the similarity of our stories. Saddened that she has felt so alone. I want to help her so desperately, yet at the same time, I feel like I barely have the answers. I am still so new to this. Who am I to be giving advice? And as I told Evan about all of this, he looked at me and said, "See, this is your purpose." And I believe so deeply that if I can even just help one person, guide her even slightly, then that can make all the difference in the world.
I told my Colby girls this morning about this path that I am on, and now I feel even more strengthened by their support and love as well. So tonight, I feel happy and and hopeful. Life is so much better on this side. Life is so much better sober. 30 days.