TLC... December 3, 2020
Updated: Sep 2, 2021
I joined The Luckiest Club yesterday. The mission of this support group is as follows:
1. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. 2. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. 3. IT IS UNFAIR THAT THIS IS YOUR THING. 4. THIS IS YOUR THING. 5. THIS WILL NEVER STOP BEING YOUR THING UNTIL YOU FACE IT. 6. YOU CAN’T DO IT ALONE. 7. ONLY YOU CAN DO IT. 8. YOU ARE LOVED. 9. WE WILL NEVER STOP REMINDING YOU OF THESE THINGS.
I felt like this group resonated with me more than other online support groups such as the Herren Project or more traditional groups like AA, because it is alcohol focused, the woman who started it (Laura) is from Boston, I am currently engrossed in her book and feel very connected to her story and ultimately it feels like a female heavy group. I like the message and that they focus on supporting one another, building each other up and making connections. I posted my introduction to the group chat last night and received a ton of kind, personalized responses throughout the day today. I felt cared for and seen. I am already feeling part of this community.
Also, this morning I attended my first support group meeting on zoom. It was an emotional and eye opening experience, to say the least. I heard stories from members that made my heart break. I felt connected to some, but I also felt scared and disconnected at moments. Ultimately, I think the whole experience was good for me, and it made me want to move forward with the group. It is all part of the healing process. But I shed many tears during the hour long meeting, and I said to myself many times, "I can't believe I am here," and "I can't believe this is my life now."
Regardless, I am looking forward to exploring the website, the "milestones and wins" section and the "meeting afterparty" as well. I am also looking forward to my next meeting and learning more about the moderators and possibly connecting with some of the members. This is a whole new world that seems so expansive and unfamiliar, but also it seems full of hope for me. Full of new, kind, comforting faces. I am so used to being with friends that criticize, joke, complain, and don't really listen. This was a room full of 150 people that just LISTENED. It was incredible.
I definitely did not feel remotely comfortable keeping my camera on today, and I didn't even consider speaking. I am VERY far from that, but maybe someday I will get there. I am hopeful. Sober 4 days.
This is a long, arduous journey, and I am ready to begin.