Today marks my 7 day sober mark. I am proud of myself this morning and feel like I have come so far in such little time. I feel like I have worked through so many different emotions, so many ups and downs in such a short amount of time. It honestly feels like more than a week.
It's nice to wake up today and be productive and not to be sleeping in hungover on a Sunday. It was great to snuggle by the fire early with my coffee and puppy, hop on the peloton and continue my morning in a productive way. The best was having a general feeling of content, positivity and happiness. Also, this might be the first day that I haven't had a headache all week.
On my peloton ride today, Ally Love talked about the virtue of authenticity and being true to oneself. She talked about deciding your quest and being the quarterback of your life. Take control and be in charge of your own destination. I really connect with these rides each week, but more so now than ever. I can find myself in her words every single time, and I feel like she has become my own little cheerleader! I like the idea of being the quarterback of my life and getting to decide how things go, instead of alcohol dictating my path. I have quieted that voice in my head and powered through what may very well be one of the hardest weeks of my life. This weekend could have been extremely challenging, but I didn't let it be. Evan and I focused on the kids, stayed busy in our quest and quarterbacked the shit out of it all. I feel like I conquered more than just a week of sobriety.
Ally Love talked about deciding on your quest, and that it wasn't a journey. That is where I see things differently. I AM on a journey. For this "thing" is my responsibility, and like they say in TLC, it will never stop being my thing until I face. I continue to face this, because this is only just the beginning. But as I continue to say day in and day out, I feel stronger and stronger each passing moment. I feel stronger each day that I wake up after a deep, refreshing night of sleep. I feel stronger as I pay my kids closer and better attention, because I'm not in a fog. I feel stronger, because I am more present. I feel stronger, because my anxiety doesn't have me paralyzed. And I feel stronger knowing now that I am no longer scared like I was 7 days ago. 7 days sober.