This morning, I edited an episode for The Weekend Sober that will air this Friday. I love working on our podcast and producing it week after week. Being an intimate part of each conversation with so many different types of people is truly special. Each chat is enlightening and unique in its own way. Overall, it's just such a privilege to be doing this work. Some of the people I have had the opportunity to talk to over the course of the last few months have been inspirational, to say the least. I really do feel lucky to be where I am on this journey.
A few weeks ago, Kezia and I had the honor of talking to Suzanne from The Sober Mom Life. She's a wonderful, down to earth person. The conversation flowed easily, and she shared some thoughtful insight into what it's like to be a successful influencer in the sober-sphere.
We talked about so many topics: Instagram. Mommy wine culture. Sober-influencing. The pandemic. Socializing sober. Ultimately though, we ended our podcast by discussing the evolution of friendships. But more on that later though...
First, one topic that I found fascinating was the in-depth conversation about mommy wine culture. We talked about the trending 8 second audio clips that mom influencers post in order to normalize drinking. All three of us used to gravitate towards that type of marketing before we stopped drinking, because it comforted us and enabled our drinking habits. I'm talking about the type of video that shows a mom pouring an entire bottle of wine into a yeti as a strategy to handle daylight savings with young kids. Or the video of the mom jokingly making light of mommy wine time by running down the street to her neighbors for a playdate - carrying two bottles of wine, ripping the cork off with her teeth while pushing the baby stroller. We have all seen variations of these videos.
We used to watch these clips, repost these memes and convince ourselves that the way these moms were behaving was normal. They were just like us. If they did it, then what we were doing with our friends was also okay. Our 3:00pm happy hour while the kids played in the basement at our friend's house was acceptable. We justified our behavior, because everyone out there was doing it too. Look how glamorous and beautiful these influencer's lives are - she has it all together. Her makeup is impeccable. Her kids are beautiful. Her house is perfect. Her husband is so handsome. She has it all.
Kezia, Suzanne and I discussed how frustrating it is being on this side of sobriety and recognizing now how these influencers continue to portray the ideal lifestyle, but we now know the truth. They paint a picture and a false lifestyle for women to buy into. They are paid to market something that is not at all real.
The reality is, when you are in active alcohol addiction, your life is nothing like what these women portray. You actually don't roll out of bed with your makeup looking like that. You wake up hungover - often feeling anxious, maybe even like you're going to puke.
You cannot be happy, be a good mother and maintain that kind of beautiful lifestyle all while drinking the way some of these women claim they do. (Molly Sims, I'm looking at you.) It will catch up with you - we are all proof of that. Sadly, we all bought into it for much too long, but so many moms unknowingly continue to do it everyday and fall victim to it. The lonely, brand new mom in Idaho with her newborn in her arms - she lives in the middle of a tiny town and has no other mommy friends - so she justifies her 2pm cocktail by watching Molly's Instagram videos of her drinking by her pool at her palatial pad in East Hampton. She sees this influencer as her friend, even though she has 300,000 followers. And so - the cycle continues.
So what do we do about it? As Suzanne says, if these women on Instagram continue to glorify mommy wine culture, then why not glorify sobriety? It is up to us to alter the narrative.
What are your thoughts?
