It has been a week now since we have been in the new house. The sun porch has quickly become my favorite spot
. Even on the hottest days and the coldest of mornings. I sit here now listening to the birds and rain, it sounds like a bird sanctuary, a rainforest of sounds welcoming me home. My home. This is my new home.
And it feels like home, because everything feels so right. Even though boxes still need to be unpacked, furniture needs to be delivered, closets need to be built and everything still is a bit disorganized, I am okay. It doesn't bother me. I am at peace. I am happy.
I am grateful.
For the first time in my life, I feel grateful and content with so much. I am not wanting more and looking ahead. I don't have that dark cloud looming over me saying, "well you moved, you're here, now what?" Always wanting more and planning for what was next. Never being content in the moment. Never finding the gratitude. And so I would just drink thinking that alcohol would give me that comfort. Alcohol always seemed to be the answer, but it only made everything worse.
Instead, now I feel free. Open to all kinds of possibilities now. Finally able to experience the contentment, hope and gratitude in my life.
I was recently listening to a podcast from Glennon Doyle and she talked about how when you stop drinking, people often feel scared that they will feel left out of drinking. That they will be MISSING OUT on so much. But instead, I have found a life that I was missing out on before.
I feel so badly for all those struggling with addiction. Those that are wanting help but don't know how to find it. Those that are lost and don't even know it. Look what they are missing out on. Look what they could be discovering, if they just let their grip on alcohol and alcohol's addictive grip on them go. If they just surrendered and walked away.
A new life of gratitude. Peace. Calm. And finally appreciating the sounds of the birds.
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